The Penny Jar - Part 3

-A quick addendum to the previous organism list: zebrafinch. No, I'm afraid I have no idea why we're sequencing it. I'll ask a lab bigwig later. If I can escape the horrors of the maize genome.

-As I'm writing this snippet of the Penny Jar, it is June 20th. I'm only just now springing forward on my car's clock. It's fun to have priorities!

-I swear I had this written down before Helen the Felon stole it from me: Welcome to America. We drive on the right, so we walk on the right. THIS IS NOT DIFFICULT TO REMEMBER.

-I don't listen to the radio anymore. Well, there are exceptions. There's the annoying station I've set my alarm clock to so that I have more incentive to get out of bed and shut the damn thing off. Once in a while, I'll listen to public radio, the classical station, or the local station that plays offbeat stuff. But for the most part, the endless commercials and inane chatter of obnoxious DJs have driven me away. Of course, this leads to the side effect of being incredibly ignorant about current music, which is embarrassing (especially to a trivia guru). The other day, I discovered that I'm totally in love with the Death Cab for Cutie song "Soul Meets Body" - which was released last September. Oy.

-Why is it I get annoyed with people who park in handicapped spaces, but have absolutely no issue with using the handicapped stalls in restrooms?

-Ugh. Reading the "Letters" section of the newspaper always gets me riled up. Are you familiar with the finer points of Godwin's Law? Basically, if you're debating or arguing with someone, the first person to make a comparison to the Nazis or Hitler automatically "loses" the argument (unless it's a particularly apt comparison), because they're just relying on hyperbole and shock rather than factual reasoning. I hereby propose Limecrete's Addendum to Godwin's Law: If people are arguing about the way a government or one of its aspects is run, invoking the Love It Or Leave It rule leads to an immediate loss of the argument. The second someone says something like "Hey, if you don't want the federal government listening in on your telephone calls, why don't you move to Iran and see how you like it there?", their opinion on anything is null and void.

Concluding that someone hates the country from the premise that they strongly oppose a law, a judicial decision, or even a president is faulty logic, and let's face it...just plain stupid. Maybe I love my country and want to improve it, rather than throwing up my hands in disgust and setting sail for Portugal every time Bush does something moronic. In fact, maybe that makes me a better American than you. Suppose the original colonists followed your advice and meekly accepted everything their government proclaimed. Then you wouldn't be able to sit in your cushy West County house WRITING IMBECILIC LETTERS TO THE LOCAL PAPER, SO FUCK OFF.

-I was talking with Cloudy the other day about something or other, and the subject of getting to X base with a date came up. I've always been a little hazy on "the bases". First base is kissing, yes? Second base is feeling someone up? Third is oral sex, and a home run is actual, factual sex? This is pure conjecture. Then he brought up that getting to a base is really judged by the bar of heterosexuality, and are there even bases for gay men? Since feeling a woman's boobies is considered getting somewhere while feeling a man's pecs really isn't, how are the men's bases defined? I was stymied. I have no idea what the gay bases are, but now I'm fascinated. I smell a thesis.

-I don't know how my ass knows that the fart it's about to expel is going to be harmless or foul, but it does. It certainly helps in social situations to be able to predict with complete accuracy whether or not I need to find another room quickly. You go, ass!

-I feel bad that I have little to no patience with habitually sick people. This is asking for trouble. I really should know better, having bragged about this before and receiving immediate comeuppance for it, but I rarely get sick. When someone else has a medical problem, I feel genuinely sorry for them. When someone else has a medical problem every month, my brain just assumes they're a big, fat hypochondriac trolling for attention and writes it off. That's so uncaring, isn't it? But I can't help it. I could almost swear that one of my coworkers has Munchausen Syndrome (by proxy). Her kids are always sick or injured. ALWAYS. It's gotten to the point where she could say that she has to leave because one of her children just got hit by a car, and I'd be all "Uh, huh. And next month they'll fall down a well, right?". I'm a horrible person.

-More outgoing notes to people who found this site through various web searches:
a) The reason you can't find directions to the "Absolutely Goosed" martini bar is because the establishment is called "Absolutli Goosed". Like the vodka. Get it? It's on south Grand, and the easiest way to get there for people who don't know the area is probably Highway 44. If you want to avoid all that Grand nonsense, I'd recommend coming down Arsenal.
b) I'm sorry, I have no idea if Camryn Manheim keeps a guy in her freezer. Honestly? I doubt it.
c) It's very simple. Go to Google. Type "Wicked lyrics". It won't steer you wrong.
d) I have no further information on "What's Your Sign? Design" (shudder) other than what I've already written. All I can tell you is that it looks sucky.
e) I don't know if Brandon Routh has or ever had a speech impediment or if limes and sun poisioning are linked. I'd kind of be interested to know (though not so much that I'll actually be looking into it), so feel free to leave whatever you find out in the comments.
f) I don't know anything about a BBBQ at the Big Brother house or how to download shows from the SciFi network. I'm kind of NOT interested to know, so feel free to ignore me and get on with your life.

-As I was writing this entry, I got a pre-recorded phone call from AT&T informing me that someone was trying to call collect from prison, and that they don't really allow that. I hung up on the message, but now I'm worried that someone I know just got arrested and I've totally wasted their one phone call. Now they're probably being strip-searched and beaten with rubber hoses or something. Oh, well. Sorry, nameless person!

-New season of Project Runway starts next week! It's almost sad how excited I am for it. Eh. Everyone has some lame interest or other. I'm also looking forward to getting back into writing for What'ere, Jane Eyre. I'm so very, very left-brained, and spouting stupid things about reality television is pretty much my only creative outlet. If only I could draw.